Depth of Character

“Our true depth of character is not often recognized until we must draw on its resources.  If we are constantly aware of our depth of character, rest assured, it is the depth of our ego we are examining.”

Life has a funny way of presenting us with the exact situations we need, albeit our needs usually appear within situations we do not want. Recently, a situation presented itself in my life that stirred up old thoughts and behaviors.  Feeling a false sense of personal development, I decided to reach down into the depths of who I have become.  The speed and ease at which I found a solution should have been forewarning enough to expose the ignorance in my assumption of depth, however, it was not.  The depth of my ego, that tender squishy little jellyfish, that will attempt to sting anything that threatens it is fathomless, stretching off into an inky abyss.  It just so happens that at this time in my life, I was able to see my ego sting myself, as well as someone I care about.

Life will present us with situations that expose a treacherous unknown depth within ourselves but many of us will be too frightened to throw caution to the wind and dive down into the unknown.  We’d rather remain safely in the shallow parts of our personality because we don’t have to face the increasing pressure, the hidden dangers and even more so the almost certain death of who we are now.  However, it is within this depth that lies a buried treasure.  The vastness of this treasure limits us from being able to bring it up all at once and the darkness that shrouds our depth of character can limit our ability to perceive what it is we are actually taking hold of until we return to the surface.

The situation I encountered was in reality no different.  The aftermath of my own reactions generated a hurricane on my horizon,  the once thought stable position I blindly assumed I had established was threatened as a result of my own impulsive reactivity.  Seeing the threat bearing down on me I recognized how limited my choices were.  I could try to hastily put up walls, which would certainly be destroyed by the force of nature I had created,  I could greet the storm head on and surely be cast upon the rocks, or I could dive into the depths of my character to face the unknown.  Diving into the depth of character may seem the most daunting, dangerous and potentially deadly but when you think about it clearly, it is the safest.  The harsh winds, deadly waves and flying debris of remaining on the surface will surely injure us. When diving into the depth of character, we find a calm stillness that is rarely found on the surface.  Will I surface with a new found treasure, I cannot say for certain, however, if I return to the surface alive, is that not a treasure in and of itself.

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