Different not better than

I am better or worse than no one, I am different than.  When I was active in active addiction I fluctuated between extreme self-loathing and overbearing arrogance.  In both states, I perceived that some others were inferior when in reality it was my own thoughts of inferiority finding faults in others to build myself up.  I would look at people who were likely at their core good people and assume the worst or deny them their humanity.  This kind of thinking only fueled my inferiority and played into my own self-criticism.

Today my thoughts are different and although I sometimes slip back into old habits of thinking, I can recognize that my thoughts of others are a reflection of me.  If I am thinking about things properly I recognize that they are sick like myself.  In our culture, it is highly improbable to not be suspect to some form of mental illness as our culture in itself is mentally unstable.  I cannot perpetuate the insanity of our culture by finding myself superior or inferior to anyone.

A concept I heard recently is I don’t think I am better than anyone just different.  I find this to be true in my life.  Most people don’t share my views, don’t do things the way I do, or express things the ways that I do.  I cannot say that most people don’t feel or think like me because I don’t know that.  I do know that I see a lot of people operating under what I now understand to be toxic attitudes.  So rather than looking down upon people, try to understand that I was and at times still am that way myself.  I only see a fraction of their lives and cannot judge an individual off of that.

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