It is easy in life to fall into the role of the victim, staying in that role becomes an addiction in and of itself. However, the role of the victim in situations is a luxury we as addicts or alcoholics cannot afford in my experience. I admit even as I write this, early in the morning, I am disturbed by the actions of another in recovery. I am pretty good at disturbing myself. Thankfully my higher power saw fit to have the reading I needed this morning wind up in the daily readings.
People are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of them. – Epictetus
In dealing with people in the world and even more so in the rooms of recovery, I will come in contact with those who will respond in ways that are upsetting and can cause emotional upheaval. The thing that I need to recall in those situations is that the people in those situations are neither bad nor good people but rather people, capable of doing actions that I perceive as good or bad. I am entitled to be upset by someone’s actions initially, we attempt for progress, not perfection.
After allowing myself to feel my initial emotional response without reacting I am then required with the guidance of my higher power, higher-self, and conscience when functioning to release those feelings. I do not have to agree with the individual’s actions, words, or lack thereof, I just have to allow it to pass and love them, which is unconditional acceptance. For me, it can be hard to love someone who has disturbed me but as I grow older I realize that loving “toxic” people and allowing them into my life are another. There was a time when I was under the assumption I had to maintain every friendship and basically perpetuate my own misery by surrounding myself with those content on misunderstanding me. Thankfully I am no longer that naive and distance myself from those who continually trample on my tranquility, therefore I am not continually fighting a battle against my strongest opponent, my own mind.
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