Life on life’s terms is difficult for many to deal with, it was very troublesome for me to say the least. One of the main factors of this was due to the lack of consistency of situations.
Lack of consistency was what I feared in life so I fed my impulses habitually to maintain what I perceived to be a modicum of regularity. As I continue to recover from years of self-will run rampant I reflect on the insanity I embraced, endured and embodied by consistently choosing the choices I made. The only consistency I had previously was inconsistency in all my affairs. I indulged in the atmosphere of perpetual chaos even though it was slowly killing me, literally. Not only did this perpetuate all my personal problems I manifested by own actions and reactions, it reinforced the victim mentality that I was infatuated with at the time.
As I step out of the forest of forgotten dreams and follow the path my higher power had intended me to take, I see this forest for what it really is. A dead, diseased and decaying jungle smaller than I could ever assume. I can also clearly see now that it was always embraced by everything I could ever desire. The world is full of hope, serenity, fellowship, strength, compassion, acceptance, tolerance, mercy and ultimately infinite love.
Living life on life’s terms, instead of my own consistency created from misery is a key to inner peace. Ultimately it allows me to create some consistency in an inconsistent world.
I would be naive to assume thickets of turbulence don’t reside on the open road exposed to the light of love. However, I now possess the knowledge that they are just unavoidable places I will pass through as I progress through life. They are not destinations unless I consciously choose them to be. More aptly put they are just a slide show, a marker for progress and a necessary place for reflection and they deserve reverence. For without remembering where I have been the positive places I pass through would be meaningless, frightening and wasted upon me.
I may stop and smell the flowers growing in the sunshine of love but never for too long as my mind will wither all the things if cherish if left to its own devices. It will make my meadow overrun by the jungles of death, disease, and decay for all I enjoy. I cannot fear tomorrow because fear is a paralyzing, poisonous, plague that will rot all my creator and I want for my future. That doesn’t mean I don’t get frightened as I have before, I still do, and will continue to do so. The difference is now I have the knowledge to acknowledge, accept, attempt to understand the source of these fears.
One of the few fears left in my life is returning and remaining in the jungle of dead, diseased and decaying dreams. This fear is irrational, as are most fears, as long as I continue on the path cleared for me by my creator. Much like Heraclitus stated no man may step in the same river twice and I cannot step into the same forest of fear a second time. Disease, death, and decay are constantly changing it. New fears may arise and other forms of the old ones may sprout up in other places but I understand their purpose.
Living life on life’s terms doesn’t remove my fears, it allows me to face them, instead of running and hiding or covering them up. It may not always be easy, or what I want but it is rewarding.
After understanding or admitting I cannot understand these fears I then ask my higher power to bush-whack a way to where they wish me to be. When I ask for assistance I am equipped with a spiritual armor bestowed upon me by the divine essence. This armor, much like my creator as I understand them, flows serenely both around me and through me. When I walk with this spiritual armor, granted to me by the divine essence I cannot be afraid because all experiences are for me. The bad experiences can be refined to pure essences that reinforce this armor and the good ones are warm meals and cool drinks of water that enable me to carry the weight of responsibility associated with this gift.
Although I may not know where I am going, I have created consistency with the help of the creator. I know that I am progressing through life as it was intended for me too. I have nothing to fear as I am on a path that is covered with blossoms of limitless potential. The aroma these colorful blooms exude is peace, love, happiness and a deep connection to my fellow man, as well as my creator.
Today I have some balance and consistency. Things are connected and grow in the
process of change. Sudden happenings and quick changes scare me because they are
symptomatic of yesterday’s disease and are not consistent with the spiritual life I seek.
Today I have the peace of knowing that tomorrow will be something like today — and I
Thank You for the spiritual gift of consistency.