Self-Restraint

Self-restraint had always been a foreign concept to me until recently.  Previously I felt entitled to my reactions and thought those that crossed me were deserving of the fallout.  Today, I do my best not to respond with all the emotion, anger, etc. that I used to release.  Not only does it hurt those around me, It affects me as well.

By practicing a moment of patience I avoid copious amounts of self-created bullshit.  I would self-sacrifice to the point of detonation.  I would previously make all sorts of concealed contracts (doing things for others with the expectation of something in return), offer unwarranted advice, offer all sorts of unnecessary help all at my own emotional cost.  Thankfully today I am learning some self-restraint.

Self-restraint used to seem like a sign of weakness, although it obviously is not.  I could justify any type of behavior that I felt the compulsion to enact, often times after recognizing the detriment of said behavior.  I was actually addicted to the chaos I created with my own turbulent impulsivity.

In practicing self-restraint I am also effectively rewiring my brain due to Neuroplasticity.  Is it easy?  Not always. Do I do it perfectly?  No.  Do I do my current best?  Most often yes.

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